Everything Wrong With: Ace Attorney Investigations: Miles Edgeworth
by PierceTheVeils
Summary: No video game is without sin.
1. Everything Wrong With: Episode One

Everything Wrong With: Ace Attorney Investigations: Miles Edgeworth

Episode One: Turnabout Visitor

 **Spoilers... Duh**

(Opening cutscene) "Game where fans are hyped to play as Miles Edgeworth opens in the titular character's office with a prosecutor... who is not Miles Edgeworth. Teasing fucks." *ding

"Murder mystery game shows us who the culprit is cliche. Did that _have_ to carry over into the spinoffs? I don't think that needed to carry over into the spinoffs, and your sequel agrees with me." *ding

"Edgeworth visits his office at two am for any reason. We later learn he investigated two murder mysteries back to back right before this after getting off an international flight. Edgeworth, you work too much." *ding

"Edgeworth tasked Gumshoe (a detective) with keeping his office clean. Something tells me that's not in his job description, but anything for a few extra bucks, right?" *ding

(Edgeworth held at gunpoint) "Make no mistake. Edgeworth is a complete badass in this scene and deserves major props, but... the bit about how no one gets away with murder in his office kinda makes me wonder how many times a murder's been committed here. Maybe it's the lack of sleep, jetlag, and previous cases getting to him, but I swear: this guy isn't even remotely surprised. 'Oh look, I'm in danger _again_... I've been these games too long.'" *no sin, though

"Edgeworth took a month off abroad after the events of Bridge to the Turnabout, but in that case, he'd just gotten back and wasn't officially working as a prosecutor. Seems like a waste to show up for only three days after chartering a private jet to get here. Was he put on leave as punishment for imitating a defense attorney? Either way, I think I know why he takes a commercial airline in the next case." *ding

"It took almost an hour for police to show up in Edgeworth's office after he calls in the murder. I get it's now three in the morning, but there _are_ cops who those hours, and it only took half that time to get between these locations in Rise from the Ashes. Shouldn't there be _less_ traffic getting to the Prosecutor's Office this time around, not more? Unexplained time skip is unexplained." *ding

"Edgeworth claims the culprit tracked mud all over his office, but we can't use this as evidence, regardless of who the muddy shoes belonged to. If we can track down shoeprints in AJ, a game that came out before this, we should be able to do it here." *ding

(The Logic tutorial) "Phoenix harnesses the power of spirit mediums to solve his cases, and Apollo his magic eyes and bracelet. Edgeworth? Basic deductive reasoning. You go, Edgeworth. Making Logic look like a superpower. You and Ryu both do a great job at this." *no sin

"Gumshoe must also be tired as balls after working the back to back cases with Edgeworth and having this one at three in the morning. That is my best explanation for why he has no clue what Logic is." *ding

"Edgeworth says he never asked Gumshoe to clean his office despite admitting to that very thing earlier. Which is it, Edgeworth?" *ding

(Gumshoe spends half his Saturdays cleaning this office, leading Edgeworth to wonder if he has a life) "Little early to steal my lines, don't you think? Players haven't met Kay yet." *ding

"Jacques Portsman." *ding

"Also, this dude's over-acting. You're no Matt Engarde, are you?" *ding

"Much as I like the new 'walking around' gameplay style, it bugs me how pixelated everyone's character is, especially in the facial area. I wish I could say this was made better in the sequel, but honestly? I don't think it was." *ding

"Also, why does Edgeworth run everywhere? I can understand Gumshoe doing this, but running is too indignified for Edgeworth's classy persona. Why can't he saunter about the crime scene?" *ding

"Portsman wants his picture taken with the corpse of a person he murdered. Because that's not weird." *ding

"Edgeworth means to keep his Steel Samurai obsession a secret, but still keeps a large doll of the character on the windowsill of his office for anyone to see. He will also fanboy about the show's 'high production values and riveting plot' to anyone who asks. How is this still a secret?" *ding

"Oldbag sends fresh flowers up to Edgeworth's office every month, even when Edgeworth isn't there. For a game that gets a double dose of Oldbag, did they really need to write references to her in the cases she's not in? Who thought this was necessary, and why?" *ding

("Gumshoe" written in blood) "'I identified my attacker with my blood' cliche. Really, Portsman? As a prosecutor, you should already know how many killers stoop to using these things. Step up your game, murderer!" *ding

"Gumshoe stomps his feet like a child at the thought of being a suspect in this series. In related news, this is Gumshoe's fifth game to appear in, but this game is the closest he ever comes to being a defendant. I wanted to defend Gumshoe in the main series, goddammit! Maybe he'll come back in AA7 and give us the chance?" *ding

(Edgeworth claims he cross examines people in court on the regular) "No, actually. You only did that for part of a case, Edgeworth. I know it's five years and a different writer between T&T and this game, but try to remember details better, would you?" *ding

"Even after being a character for all four of the main games and testifying several times in all of them, Gumshoe has no idea what a cross-examination is. He doesn't function well on low sleep, does he?" *ding

"To my knowledge, this is the first and only game where I can click that I don't want a cross-examination tutorial and am _actually_ not given one. I would remove a sin, if I weren't an asshole with higher standards than this." *but I won't add one either

"Portsman argues that Gumshoe waited until the night Edgeworth returned to his office and Faith caught him to steal from Edgeworth... despite possessing the key for a whole month before that. I get this is an easy argument to start with in a tutorial, but really?" *ding

"The Great Revival: Objection style." *removes a sin

"Portsman's labcoat hijinks. Why does he have one in the first place?" *ding

"Portsman insists Maggey needs no introduction... then proceeds to introduce Maggey anyway. Like Maya, it is impossible for her to appear in a game without being accused of murder. I may like the idea of Gumshoe having a love interest, even if she is a serial defendant, but this is getting out of hand. Now there are two of them!" *ding

"Why are there red feathers on Maggey's guard uniform? That's... an odd fashion choice." *ding

"Maggey's glasses don't connect back to her ears in any way, shape, or form. This bothers me more than it should." *ding

(Portsman says he was chosen to run the investigation because Edgeworth and Gumshoe are both suspects to varying degrees) "Oh sure, _now_ the series cares whether or not the prosecutor in charge had the ability to commit the crime they're investigating, or even evidence that could point to that. Sure, this statement is ironic later, but where was this energy in the first and third game?" *ding

(Kicked out of the office) "Pulling a Portsman. The origin of this move was actually Damon Gant, but 'Pulling a Gant' doesn't have the same ring to it. Not to mention, this is the only reason I remember the character at all. Much like Wellington, he is a boring, watered down rewrite of previous characters. Semi-acceptable for a mere first case villain, but considering this game came off the heels of Turnabout Trump? I sin it." *ding

(In the hallway) "What is Winston Payne doing at the Prosecutor's Office at four in the morning? I understand it's his family's obligation to appear in every tutorial case in the series, but this is some hardcore dedication that I don't believe he possesses." *ding

"Edgeworth mistakes Payne for a janitor. It's... actually somewhat funny, but sinworthy all the same." *ding

(Edgeworth promises to prove Maggey's innocence) "Um, Edgeworth? You aren't imitating a defense attorney anymore. You're back to being a prosecutor. I can get wanting to defend Gumshoe, but Edgeworth doesn't even know Maggey. The only reason we as a player don't take the accusation against her seriously is the fact that she's already been a defendant twice before this, and it won't be until the sequel that it's possible for a past client to be the culprit of another case. Why is Edgeworth not even cautious around her?" *ding

(Gumshoe comments that only a great thief could successfully break into the office of a high prosecutor) "Foreshadowing." *ding

(Bursting back into the office) "Neither police officer has any reaction towards Mr. Portsman being accused of murder. Get used to this. They're the equivalent of the court bailiffs from the main series, but were granted the ability to walk." *ding

(Portsman calls the idea of him being a killer "hair-brained") "Hare-brained is misspelled. Take this as a sin for all typos and grammar mishaps to come in the game. I'm too lazy." *ding

(The Pursuit theme) "I have very mixed feelings about this song. On one hand, it suits Edgeworth's personality and style quite well, but on the other, it doesn't hype me up as much as I expect Pursuit themes to. It's more of a quiet smirk than a shout for joy and victory. Which is characteristic of this game and it's main character, sure, but it still feels lacking. You know?" *no sin until I sort out how I feel about this

"Portsman thinks it's possible to remove only one set of prints when wiping something down that has multiple. That's... not how wiping works." *ding

(Figuring out the person who held Edgeworth at gunpoint and the killer are two separate people) "I hate to rain on what is actually a good twist, but shouldn't Edgeworth have realized this earlier? Edgeworth never saw the former, but he did hear Badd's voice, didn't he? And if he thinks Portsman is the killer, shouldn't he realize that the two men don't sound anything alike? The only reason this is never brought up is for the player's benefit, because we never actually heard a voice in the gunpoint scene, but even so: couldn't Edgeworth have just made a comment about it and have us take him at his word? I'm overthinking this when I could just as easily sin." *ding

"It's explained later, but why does no one think it's weird that Portsman was working and visiting Criminal Affairs well into the early morning? Between him, Edgeworth, and Payne, I think this game is implying that's a regular thing for prosecutors in this series. And I know Blackquill has insomnia, but do none of you ever sleep as well? Why is this even a thing?" *ding

"The Truth theme. I don't usually remove sins for these, but this one is by far my favorite, beating out even Dual Destinies." *removes a sin

"In the end, Portsman killed his own partner because... he caught him snooping in another office? Overreaction much? If Faith really was half as loyal to Portsman as Gumshoe is to Edgeworth, they probably could have talked things out. Only if Faith threatened to tell others about Portsman and open the rabbit hole into his other deeds would I believe Portsman had to kill him. But I get this case was somewhat supposed to parallel with The First Turnabout, so... whatever, am I right?" *ding

"So wait. Badd broke into Edgeworth's office and saw the body of his fellow detective and the writing that framed another, but... gave zero fucks that one of his colleagues was dead and just went out on his merry way? Suppose he hadn't ran into Edgeworth for a minute. Would he really have left Faith's body where it was to be discovered who knows when? He wouldn't have even left an anonymous tip that there was a man down? I get he had to protect himself and all, but some colleague he is!

"And why is Badd the one who gets his hands on the evidence and not Portsman? Even if Portsman had to shoot a bitch, he still could have stolen the evidence when he was done, right? We already know he was over in the files because he's the one who wrote Gumshoe's name, meaning he was clearly willing to stick around after his crime. Why did he not then take what it was his express goal to obtain? Were the two men after different pieces of evidence? Turnabout Ablaze is such a self-induced blur in my head that it's a distinct possibility, but a sin nonetheless because I really don't remember. And sure, maybe that's more my fault than the game's, but-" *ding

"I like the idea of a Confrontation-Presto in concept, but this song is repetitive as fuck and doesn't hype me up in the slightest. Not to mention that, with only one exception, it will only play for the killer in any given case of this game. The sequel game uses it better, but that doesn't do much for this one, now does it?" *ding

"Gumshoe is eager to pat Portsman down from head to toe? That beats my fanfiction." *ding

(Portsman yelling) "No." *ding

"Where was Portsman hiding a whole ass videotape in his person? His clothes are not loose enough for him to stuff it down his shirt or anything, and I doubt his pockets are big enough, so what gives?" *ding

(Portsman eats gold) "Since I highly doubt that medal is pure... yeah, this breakdown is toxic. I hope they take him to the hospital after processing his arrest, or some of the other metals commonly in the alloy will kill him before trial." *ding

(Maggey says she's glad she was never in a hostage situation) "Foreshadowing?" *ding

(First mentions of the smuggling ring) "More foreshadowing. Also, this one feels weird in retrospect. Chronologically, Turnabout Airlines happens before this case, and that one discusses the smuggling ring and its influence is some detail, so... why are Edgeworth and Gumshoe acting like they don't know anything about it? If you have to do this for the player's sake, maybe don't tell all your stories in a fucked up time order. This may not be as egregious as it was in Dual Destinies, but it's close." *ding

(Gumshoe remembers details from Turnabout Reminiscence. I say Reminiscence because Kay wore, but never brought up the Yatagarasu symbol in Kidnapped) "That case was seven years ago. If you think Gumshoe remembers relatively minor details that far back, even on his first case, you are giving him way too much credit. Is the entire last leg of this case just going to foreshadow what's to come? I think the entire last leg of this case is solely devoted to foreshadowing what's to come. And things that have chronologically already happened, but you know." *ding

(Edgeworth explaining who the Yatagarasu is to the player) "Exposhadowing narration of the worst kind. It's also ending narration, to boot." *so TWO sins are added

"When did Edgeworth or the police put the chessboard back together in his office? Who magically mended the tea set? This is never explained." *ding

 **Total Sin Tally: 48  
**

 **Sentence: Basketball Games with Portsman**

* * *

 **A/N's: I was going to give it longer before I started my review of this game, but then I decided I wanted to get at least one chapter out before I went back to school this coming Monday. it may be a while before I update anything else once that happens, as it promises to be a busy year for me. I also want to update two/three other fics this month (Miracle, ERB:AA, and AAI3), so... we'll see what happens. Especially since I don't have a working laptop anymore and only occasional access to a desktop.  
**

 **But in case my other fics didn't clue you in... yes, I have a MAJOR Edgeworth-boner and adore the AAI style of gameplay. My current longest fanfic is a love letter to both these things. Doesn't absolve this game of sins (especially not its finale... oh god, I'm gonna have to sin that finale. I've only ever gotten through it all once, and that was out of sheer stubbornness), but it does mean I liked this game more than I would guess the average person did, and it makes me happy that I'm sinning my favorite game (AAI2) last. We'll cross that bridge when we get there.**

 **What did you all think of this case and game? Did you like it, or did the ending sour you too much to appreciate it? Thanks for reading, let me know what you thought below, and I'll see you on the far side!**


	2. Everything Wrong With: Episode Two

Everything Wrong With: Ace Attorney Investigations: Miles Edgeworth

Episode Two: Turnabout Airlines

"Opening narration." *ding

"Game flashes back to two days ago, then has the audacity to pretend for even a second like Edgeworth was the victim of the case. Anyone who's played the first case _knows_ he survives this, so what did they think they were accomplishing, here?" *ding

(Gameplay begins) "In the cutscene, the spilled grape juice is right next to Edgeworth's head. Here, it's several feet away." *ding

"If Edgeworth is this reluctant to get on an elevator, how did he get down here in the first place? We later can assume he took a staircase down here, but if that was the case, why doesn't he take one back up? This is never explained." *ding

"Edgeworth narrates to himself about the DL-6 while (thinking he's) alone. Why would he do this? He's not even expositing to the players. It would still be a sin if he was, but at least it would make sense." *ding

"The _one time_ Edgeworth decides he should overcome his fear of elevators is the time he opens the elevator door on a dead body. Talk about shit luck." *ding

(Edgeworth's face upon seeing the body) "This closeup." *ding

"Where did all these passengers come from? The lounge was deserted a literal minute ago." *ding

"Wow. I knew first class was nice, but do they really let you drink two dozen bottles of alcohol in one flight? Damn." *ding

"No plane has this much free room and turns a profit, even in first class. I don't even think a plane like this is capable of flight, so.. let's get this sin out of the way _now_." *ding

"Rhoda Teneiro's hair." *ding

"Why does the suspense theme play when Edgeworth is accused? Anyone who's played the first case already knows he beats the rap for this. Did this case just forget?" *ding

(Grape juice instead of alcohol) "Obvious substitution of alcohol is obvious. I get the strangest feeling I've written this sin before. Can't say where." *ding

(Zinc Lablanc's character design) "This feels racist somehow." *ding

"Also, this guy. Where is Borginia even supposed to be located, anyway? Machi, Hicks, and this guy all have Northern European features, but Lamiroir and Lablanc's clothing (not to mention Lablanc's theme) appear to be inspired by the Middle East. So... which is it?" *ding

"Hey, whatever happened to staying in our seats? Teneiro told everyone to, then Edgeworth argued with her, and now both he and Lablanc can wander around wherever? The fuck?" *ding

"If anyone really suspected Edgeworth of killing an Interpol agent, what good does supervision by small woman do? She's unarmed and easily overpowered. If Edgeworth could get Hicks they way they currently suspect the murder happened, he could take Teneiro no problem. Good thing he's not the culprit, huh?" *ding

"If the in-flight meal is lobster, where did this guy get a giant steak? Do they really have both on board ready to serve? What kind of fantasy plane is this?!" *ding

(Investigating the louge) "Edgeworth takes time out of his crew sanctioned investigation to speak with clouds. Maybe that turbulence took a little more outta him than we thought. *ding

"What does Teneiro put in her laundry to make it smell like bloody grapes? I would say it's never explained, but I'm not quite sure I want an answer this time around." *ding

"The slicing sound effect with Rebuttals is not synced with the slicing of the word in half. This bothers me more than it should." *ding

"Cammy Meele is allowed to come to work without a bra and part of her uniform missing. I am okay with that. And I am not okay with that." *no sin

"Also, Cammy Meele's theme. It suits her fine, but it's annoying as fuck." *ding

"Edgeworth is flying from Germany (well, Borginia. Must have been a layover) to California, but the plane flies over Asia. Seems logical." *ding

"This time contradiction is cool and all, but it relies on Lablanc not realizing over three hours have passed between the announcement of the murder and his sighting of the victim. Even if his watch is wrong, his sense of timing shouldn't be. Well, unless he's from the trilogy, I suppose." *ding

(Meele tells Edgeworth Hicks was alive at five am before he suspects anything) "This, in retrospect, was actually pretty clever of her. Couple this with her half-decent frame job of Teneiro, and Meele is a pretty competent killer considering she never planned to do any of it. Now if only she were less boring..." *ding

"Cammy Meele has no pupils. This bothers me in ways I can't describe." *ding

(Investigating the in-flight shop) "Airline company sells life-saving devices in case of an emergency instead of providing them, because fuck the poor. I'm with Edgeworth in wondering how they haven't been sued already." *ding

"If the Ifly piggy bank fell through the glass in turbulence, why did nothing else come loose? Turbulence on a flight is a common enough problem that everything should be bolted down in just such a case, so... who the fuck messed up on this one? More importantly, why?" *ding

"Meele can sleep standing up. Is she related to Yanni Yogi, by any chance? Part horse, perhaps?" *ding

(The hideous suitcases) "These exist." *ding

"Twelve hundred dollars for suitcases as ugly as sin?! The fuck?" *two more sins

"Edgeworth thinks a grown man would fit inside this suitcase. Even if one folded his body up, that one must be a lot bigger than any of _my_ suitcases. I don't even think you could fit a child in them." *ding

(Meele actually does a decent job framing Teneiro) "Why is a flight attendant better at frame jobs than a corrupt prosecutor? I get Portsman was a tutorial villain, but between him and Meele, I was not expecting Meele to be the more competent of the two. Shows what judging by appearances gets you." *ding

"This game will label chapters of cases things like 'Middle: Part 1', but they don't always include a 'Middle: Part 2' when doing so. Why can't they just call it 'Middle' and be done with it? Was this case originally longer than it is? How did that work, exactly?" *ding

(the plane lands) "Sal Manella in a background cameo. I did not need to be reminded of his existence, goddammit." *ding

"Franziska Von Karma." *removes a sin

(Franziska is upset to see Edgeworth accused of murder, saying she can't believe a disciple of the Von Karma house would ever do such a thing) "Irony." *ding

"Franziska's whipping animation. And I thought the walking pixels were bad." *ding

(Second round of plane investigation) "How does Franziska know we found the cloth inside the suitcase? She hasn't seen the in-flight shop yet, and we never told her. Did Meele mention it? If so... why?" *ding

"Franziska's second argument relies on Edgeworth willingly using an elevator for any reason. How well does she know her 'little' brother, again?" *ding

"If the killer went back and forth from the elevator after the turbulence, why are there only grape juice footprints going one way and not both? Did the killer avoid stepping in it all but the first time? Why can we _still_ not inspect shoeprints (or even just shoes. I'm confident Meele was never given a chance to properly dispose of hers) as evidence? It pisses me off that we were given a decently good bit of forensics in AJ and only used it for one case. Especially when there are so many cases written after the fact that could stand to benefit." *ding

(Officer says they found nothing else that could be used as a murder weapon in this lounge) "How about that green bottle on the floor? I've seen one just like it used in a murder before. Can't say where, though." *ding

(Franziska accuses Teneiro) "We're never given a clear reason for Edgeworth defending Teneiro in this case. He himself was suspicious of Teneiro before Franziska even showed up. Does he just like to argue with his sister? Is he receptive to Teneiro's crush on him? Does this game series not know how to write a character in a believable 'investigating prosecutor' role and has to rely on its defense attorney roots for a good story? We never learn where Edgeworth got this 'devil's advocate' idea from, and it's only developed recently. Was that half case of acting like a defense attorney really enough to change his outlook forevermore? At least the sequel is capable of providing _reasons_ for this behavior, goddammit." *ding

(Teneiro's been buying all her suitcases) "Since when does a flight attendant make enough to drop over a grand on an ugly suitcase? Are we sure Teneiro isn't also secretly in the smuggling business? The fuck is she getting the money for this?" *ding

(In the cargo hold) "How did Lablanc and the officer get down here? Neither one of them was given access to the flight attendant's room, and that's the only way down here at this stage of the case. Did Meele really let them through? Again: why?" *ding

(Edgeworth figures out the real murder weapon) "This chain of logic is... actually, pretty well done. I really liked how multiple quotes from various people come together, and unlike the next case, it's also easy to understand. Almost like a prototype for the Thought Routes of Yamakazi's 3DS titles." *removes a sin

"I really should have asked earlier, but why does this game need two Trick themes?" *ding

"Neither prosecutor gives any fucks that Lablanc fell beyond proving the real murder weapon. Some caring citizens they are!" *ding

"The Republic of Zheng Fa uses Chinese characters to label their cargo, further lending credence to my theory that Zheng Fa is supposed to be the in-universe equivalent of Taiwan. Also interesting to note is the particular characters chosen to represent Zheng Fa (政法） translate to "politics and law", this game's two biggest obsessions. Finally, cool bilingual bonus that can't be passed off as a potential localization error." *no sin

(The fake Alif Red) "If a statue is named for its red eyes, who the fuck got every aspect _but_ the eye color correctly? This seems like a very obvious thing to miss." *ding

"Wait, I'm confused. Edgeworth claims the true Alif Red was never on board the flight, so what did Lablanc think he checked in? Did they leave the real one in Borginia? My impression on previous playthroughs was always that they had the real one at liftoff and switched it with the fake in Zheng Fa. Hicks was killed while the switch was still under way. Shows how well I remember this case." *sin on me, I guess

"Meele's testimony. Much like Miney, I would like this villain a lot more if her fake persona weren't so goddamn annoying. Or, I don't know, interesting?" *ding

"When did Teneiro show up down here? Last I heard, she was taken down to the station on Franziska's orders. Edgeworth doesn't have the authority to overturn the investigating prosecutor's direct orders no matter what he says. Why is she still anywhere in the area?" *ding

"When Meele reveals her true nature, she gains pupils. I'm glad for her, but... why?" *ding

(Meele blows bubbles through a pipe) "Obvious allusion to smoking is obvious." *ding

"The AAI Fate theme. Sure, it's no Hotline of Fate, but at least they didn't feel the need to steal from previous titles, and it does the job fine." *no sin

(Franziska's phone and Hicks's phone look the same except for color) "Obvious palette swapping." *ding

"Hicks's phone will ring forever if you let it. In the real world, most phones take you to voicemail after a minute or two." *ding

"Game's characters think you can't use a phone with a broken screen. I'll let the proud owners of the iPhone handle this one." *ding

"And in the end, the move that seals Meele's doom... is her choice of blood-wiping materials. If she had gone with her first language and used bedsheets, Teneiro would've been fucked." *ding

(Meele's breakdown) "Where are the new bubbles coming from? Meele only blew so many." *ding

"I just noticed: no matter what a character looks like or where the light sources in the room are, their shadows are always perfect circles beneath their feet. This bothers me more than it should." *ding

"Edgeworth says it's been a while since he and Franziska last met, but it's been a month at most. The last time one disappeared from the other's life to search the world, they left the other thinking they were dead for nearly a year. Edgeworth ha no room to pester Franziska on the matter." *ding

("Hmph. Until only a little while ago, I was but a wretched mutt who was always losing to you. A dancing pierrot living her life on the name and fame her invincible father built!") "Has this changed? I know Franziska does some good work with Interpol in these two games, but every time she and Edgeworth investigate together, it's Edgeworth who ends up being right about a case, not Franziska. The most she gets to do is share his victory. And yes, we saw her better side a bit clearer in Bridge to the Turnabout, but nothing enough to cause this dramatic shift in maturity and character. I love it, but where's all this coming from?" *ding

"Franziska doesn't remember how her own father's life ended. Considering this was such a huge motive for her character in her first game, this strikes me as extremely odd. The only reason this bullshit exists here is to avoid spoiling other games in the series, which is not a good enough reason to sacrifice characterization." *ding

(Franziska hints that Edgeworth may run into Lang one day) "Foreshadowing." *ding

"Gumshoe's new theme. The original is infinitely better." *don't fight me on this

"Ending narration." *ding

 **Total Sin Tally: 63**

 **Sentence: One Million Cents**

* * *

 **A/N's: This is a relatively short review for a relatively short case. There wasn't really any ups and downs in my feelings toward it: the case was okay, if unremarkable. Not as annoying as the next case, but the next case also has characters like Kay and Lang. None of the new characters here left much of an impression.**

 **But wow. I never quite realized how many aspects of AAI3 were inspired by this game until I went through the sins for it. It's pretty impossible to come after AAI2, so our project has more in common with AAI and AJ. Working on the fourth case of that now as well.**

 **Hope you enjoyed this, don't forget to leave your thoughts below, and I'll see you on the far side!**


	3. Everything Wrong With: Episode Three

Everything Wrong With: Ace Attorney Investigations: Miles Edgeworth

Episode Three: The Kidnapped Turnabout

(First things first) "I forgot to add this case to the category with The Lost Turnabout, The Stolen Turnabout, and The Forgotten Turnabout when writing my T&T review. Mostly because I forgot this case existed. So... is that a sin on me for having a shitty ass memory, or on the game for its two unmemorable middle cases? Either way, it's a sin." *ding

(Edgeworth making a hostage exchange) "I understand they want Edgeworth to be a part of this case and all, but why would Ernest Amano ask _him_ to make the hostage exchange? Does this not count as 'getting the police involved', a tactic that often escalates kidnapping cases? If anything, this is what screws Amano over in the long run because it eventually encourages Edgeworth and Interpol to look into his shady ass dealings after he tries to shield his son in the aftermath. We aren't even given a valid reason for why Amano wanted Edgeworth to begin with. So... though he's more of a background asshole than an actual culprit of a given case, I still think I can safely say culprit foils his own plot." *ding

"Gatewater Land." *ding

"So... is Gatewater Land open to visitors right now? In the middle of a live kidnapping the police know about and the presence of bystanders can only serve to complicate? Nobody wanted to even quietly try and evacuate the park? Okay..." *ding

"Where is this badger guy keeping the sign on his person? I have so many questions." *ding

(Stadium has Gavinner's band equipment set up for a gig) "Cute Easter Eggs." *not really a sin

"The Haunted House sequence is... actually, pretty well done." *removes a sin

"Why does Lance attack Edgeworth, again? He got his money, and Edgeworth was leaving. Yeah, the cops are here, but he doesn't know that yet. He thinks he can trick Lauren about when the murder happened, but that requires a lot of elaborate thinking in a short period of time, not to mention circumstances that only happened to work out in his favor. And in the end, all taking Edgeworth as a hostage does is introduce him to Kay Faraday, who ends up being _invaluable_ to proving Lance's culpability through analysis of this very event. Culprit foils his own plot." *ding

(Saying Amano is the head of a zaibatsu) "Japanese word left in the English localization for no discernible reason." *ding

"Why is it so hard for Edgeworth to stand up? He is tied down to neither the floor nor the pole in this shot. All he has are hands behind his back. Sure, maybe this is just poor animation, but that would be a sin as well, so-" *ding

"Kay Faraday's theme." *removes a sin

"Also, Kay Faraday. And yes, I know I'm removing a lot of sins upfront. Trust me when I say this case will need it later." *removes another sin

"I understand this is a running joke, but for an aspiring vigilante thief, Kay sure is shit at doing _anything_ sneaky. Or even vaguely criminal, for that matter." *ding

(Kay unties Edgeworth) "Where did the ropes go?" *ding

("I was not aware that thieves could pass down their titles like that...") "Why not? Assassins do it." *ding

("...Sorry to butt in, but I'm afraid you're going to have to make due with me.") "Wrong 'do' in this sentence. For such a badass character, Lang sure makes a poor first impression, seeing as his _very first line of dialogue_ contains a language mistake." *ding

"They use the Suspense theme instead of Lang's theme when he introduces himself. Why do they do this? One is clearly superior to the other." *ding

"Lang criticizes Edgeworth for not involving the police in the kidnapping case, even when that is _exactly_ what Edgeworth did. Why does Edgeworth take this shit lying down? He has no reason to." *ding

"Police-sponsored theme parks. Because that's a _wonderful_ use of taxpayer money." *ding

(Escaping the costume room) "We interrupt your regularly scheduled murder mystery to bring you... escape rooms!" *ding

"Lang's theme." *removes a sin

("The comedic relief jumps to the aide of his master... How cliche.") "Lang tries and fails to do my job." *ding

(Gumshoe says he's Edgeworth's true assistant, and Kay brags that she stole his supporting role) "Sorry Gumshoe, but you're not a teenage girl and therefore are not allowed to serve in the assistant role. Instead, that title is being transferred to the self-proclaimed criminal Edgeworth just met. The one who is entirely too meta about her role in this game." *ding

(Edgeworth remembers the Yatagarasu) "If the case being discussed is a flashback, does this still count as foreshadowing? Or should I file it under 'general exposition' and call it a day? I need consistent categorization for my sins, goddammit!" *ding

(Ernest Amano) "This guy's earlobes." *ding

"Also, this guy." *ding

(Explaining the kidnapping plot) "Rich evil brat and their tutor fake a kidnapping to extort millions out of their jackass father in ransom when it all blows up in their face and eventually kills the tutor. Hm... Where have I seen this plot before?" *ding

"If Edgeworth is so unwilling to let Kay tag along, is there a reason he can't get her evicted from the premises? You know, ask one of the detectives to escort the civilian away from the site of ongoing kidnapping? I'm surprised that hasn't already happened, to be honest. I like Kay as much as the next player, but the way she and Edgeworth begin their work together is hardly organic." *ding

"The recurrence of Mike Meekins. I gave him five sins in his first appearance, and seeing as this is his third time to drive me up the wall... how about fifteen?" *fifteen sins awarded

(Opening the garage to find a dead body) "Case waits until I'm almost a thousand words into its review to properly murder mystery. Because like The Stolen Turnabout, it agrees that focusing on crimes other than murder is just too interesting a change of pace. Wouldn't want to have that happen on the _fifth entry_ to the franchise in a spinoff that boasts about its entirely new gameplay format. No, we'd much rather copy T&T." *ding

"Edgeworth claims he needs to investigate the murder scene quickly before Lang's men report it in, but how have they not done so already? Three of his officers are stationed in the immediate vicinity!" *ding

(Oliver Deacon vs. Colin Devorae) "Obvious anagram is obvious." *ding

(Meeting Lauren Paups) "Paups forgot to put her text in blue. Lucky for her, Kay caught her mistake." *ding

"Paups cries about her lack of sex with Lance to a guy she just met." *ding

(Lang descends from the in-universe version of... Shang Yang(?) and quotes him often) "This shtick gets old. Quickly. *ding

"According to this game, the US will have passed and implemented the 'Federal Firearms Restriction Act' by March 2019. At the rate this country is going? I'm... having my doubts." *ding

"Lance's shocked animation. (Laughs) It looks like he's about to serenade someone." *ding

"The idea that Meekins is competent enough to commit a murder in any way. I don't think he has the brain function for anything higher than manslaughter." *ding

"Ema Skye in a mostly pointless role. She has no in-universe reason to be here, she only appears so we can do forensic minigames, and she has yet to lose her Maya clone nature. All she gains from her time in the AAIs... is a cool hat. It is for these reasons that I choose to remove no sins." *but I won't add any, either

"Ema takes notes on her DSLite." *ding

"The footprint kit Ema has in this game and the one she has us use in Apollo Justice do not match. Not only that, but the kit she has here makes no fucking sense. How on earth would UV light be helpful in any way?" *ding

"Hey, why couldn't we have made Ema rescue Edgeworth from his prison? She fits the teenage girl requirement for the assistant role, and she was originally gonna be the main character of this game anyway. The least they could do was give her a role that wasn't pointless. Yeah, we wouldn't have had Kay in that position, but she could still be a witness or something in this case. Maybe they could even replace her with Oldbag (she accepted the Pink Badger job to steal the truth from the park, then sees what they had Oldbag witness), and that would ensure the last two cases go relatively unchanged. Really, the only thing that would need to change hands is that Ema would control Little Thief, but even that's not much of a stretch considering what we use the device for. Why did this not happen?" *ding

(Edgeworth says the Pink Badgermobile is a "retina-searing pink") "Your suit is, like, two shades darker. Do you _really_ have room to talk? *ding

"The return of Wendy Oldbag. I gave her ten sins in her first episode to appear, and like Meekins, this is her third appearance (fourth, if you count the T&T credits scene, but both the game and the sin counter will be grateful to know that I do not), so I give this shit thirty sins." *thirty sins added

("Nooooo! Why HER!? Why HERE!? Why NOW!?") "Edgeworth speaks for every player ever at this stage of the case." *ding

"Oldbag says she's done talking about herself... only to continue to talk about herself for a long period of time." *ding

"Oldbag thinks Edgeworth is getting it on with a seventeen year old. Wendy Oldbag is creepy." *ding

(Little Thief) "This minigame/investigation tool is _great_. I love it." *removes a sin

(Lang concedes to Edgeworth because both killer and victim were costumed) "Wait. Do we have any proof that the victim was costumed anymore? Yes, it would explain the lack of blood, but so would cleaning the stage, and the footprints didn't end up belonging to him. Not to mention, Meekins is also costumed at this point, so nothing about this scenario exonerates him in the slightest. I know Edgeworth is only defending Meekins out of stubborn pride, but what has he really accomplished here, at least by this point in time?" *ding

"Why didn't the Bad Badger get his own mobile? The other three did. That's not fair!" *ding

"Here's a question I have about this case: why leave Deacon/Devorae's body exposed in the garage for eventual discovery? Does Lance not know the police are here by this point? My timeline may be fucked up, but still. If you have access to a Badgermobile, use that shit to drive the body somewhere it can be disposed of permanently. You had barrels you could stuff it in and eventually remove. You had wet grounds to bury it in. Fuck, you even had the slumped badger in the Haunted House that no one ever moves. The only time someone would realize a body's in the costume there is days later, when shit would start to reek. Lance sucks at body disposal." *ding

(Lance Amano appears) "Fainting in... well, this is actually an investigation, isn't it? Eh, core of the cliche remains." *ding

(Back at the Wild West area) "In case you didn't already pick up on the T&T parallels, here's a letter from Tender Lender to hit you over the head with them. Is there a case from that game we haven't referenced in the episode yet? I think we're only missing the first episode by this point." *ding

((Paups about her father) "It's been so long... I don't think I'd recognize him if we were to ever meet again...") "Foreshadowing." *ding

"Kay wants pictures of all the Badgers for the photo rally, but she only snaps images of them from behind. Why is that?" *ding

(Lang calls this country's a police a sham, and Gumshoe gets angry) "Did he lie, though?" *ding

(Putting the pendants together to prove Paups met her long-lost parent unknowingly) "This is sweet, but it raises a lot more questions than it answers. Did no one tell Paups that her father was in prison, even after all these years? Was Devorae's escape not widely publicized enough for her to see it on the news or hear about it in any way? Why do she and her father have different last names? Paups isn't married. How did Devorae manage to hold onto his valuable ass pendant throughout ten years in prison and upon escaping, even when it has his name on it and can easily identify him? I swear, this is worse than when Misty Fey appeared before Maya one last time in- ohhhh." *ding

(Looking at the dossier) "Wow Deacon was underweight. I am a female who is significantly smaller than 5'8", and _I_ weigh within five pounds of 123.45 lbs. Does Japan not know how the customary system works? Did this guy not eat in prison? And why publish his dominant hand on the dossier? I know it sets up the plot twist later, but since when is that information included before age is?" *ding

"Also, Penn. E Dent Prison." *ding

(Butler was one of the kidnappers) "'The butler did it' cliche. A complicated variation, but a variation nonetheless." *ding

"Lance Amano's tie." *ding

"Lance Amano gets hair care tips from Drew Misham. Calling the theory now." *ding

(Lance's motive) "If Amano can drop a million dollars at a day's notice to get his son back, why couldn't Lance have just asked his daddy for the money? Why borrow it from Tender Lender to begin with? Did he forget he's a rich kid?" *ding

(Lauren's second confession) "No matter which murder scenario you go with at this point, they all result in justifiable self-defense. Sure, that's still a crime in this universe, but would it really be that bad for Paups to go down on it? Not to mention, this case could cut the entire last hour off of its runtime!" *ding

"Left-hand-right-hand contradiction. Good luck naming a mystery series that hasn't... where have I written this sin before?" *ding

(Lance planned to make Paups believe she'd committed murder) "For a guy with no clue how body disposal works, he sure is good at setting up fake murder scenes. Why one and not the other?" *ding

"Ernest Amano found the victim's costume and the murder weapon before anyone else did. The how is never explained." *ding

(Letter from the Chief of Police) "Well, I see this city didn't throw its corruption problem out with Gant and the trash two years ago. That's a shame." *ding

"Lang laughs at Edgeworth for using probability in his arguments. A hearty joke, considering the franchise we're in, but a bit hypocritical all the same. Tell me: on what logic did Lang base his suspicion of Meekins, again?" *ding

"When did Amano have time to purchase the Haunted House? If he did it because he figured out what his son was up to, when did that happen? How was this old fart two steps ahead of everyone? When did he get the ransom money back? This is never explained." *ding

"Wait. If Amano bought ownership of an amusement park attraction, how does that work exactly? Did he also buy the rights to money made off the attraction? Does he have to pay for upkeep, maintenance, and employee salaries? How did they reach an agreement on all of these legal matters 'almost immediately'? The logistics of this situation leave much to be desired." *ding

"Also, since when is it a thing that the owner of the property have to consent to a police search? Phoenix never got consent to snoop through witness's shit, and all his evidence was accepted into court. This series has zero problem with the police searching people's phones, persons, and medical records without their consent. If anything, shouldn't all they need in the face of Amano's objections be a warrant? The fuck is this a thing?" *ding

"Kay's idea of recreating the Haunted House is cool and all, but what court is accepting this a evidence? I always believed this was only used in an investigation to track down more evidence, and successive investigations found the real things before the case made it that far, but these comments imply otherwise. Was I wrong the whole time?" *ding

"Why does Gumshoe on his person? It makes this minigame halfway believable, sure, but I still want to know what those papers are doing here to begin with." *ding

"Where is this slight temple wound Edgeworth speaks of? His face is handsome as ever." *ding

(Edgeworth says the blood spot and location of his wound make it impossible for the assailant to have hit him left-handed) "I'm not fully on board with Edgeworth's logic here. It actually _is_ possible to swing the blade the way Edgeworth describes with your left hand from the assailant's position. It's less natural and doesn't pack as much power, but it's not as though it couldn't have happened. The fact that Edgeworth uses this as a stepping stone to even grander assumptions is something I just can't get behind. Think Turnabout Trump's 3D crime scene model, where the positions of the victim and the killer kept shifting." *ding

(Lance struck with his right hand to make Edgeworth think Devorae/Deacon had hit him) "This planning is way more elaborate than I give Lance credit for being. At the time, he had no idea Edgeworth would be here, let alone that he was a prosecutor. Sure, Edgeworth knows Amano, but we're given no indication he and Lance have met. Lance should not have recognized him, nor should he have known to respect Edgeworth's intelligence enough to pull these kinds of stunts. Not to mention this whole plan had to be created spontaneously. At least Meele's was somewhat plausible. This just feels like complexity for the sake of complexity." *ding

(Shih-na: Yes. It was all I could do to hold my laughter in.) "Bet you didn't think this line was foreshadowing on your first playthrough, huh? But it is." *ding

"Speaking of Shih-na... how does she slide on and off screen so smoothly? Until someone tells me, I'm gonna assume she has rollerblades attached to her feet." *ding

"This holographic projection sure covers a lot of ground. Imagine walking into the entrance fountain because of this thing. And I don't even wanna know what it looks like from the outside." *ding

"How can Kay tell mirror shard thickness from a projection? For such a vital plot point that does, admittedly, lead to a correct conclusion, it sure has a hard time existing plausibly. Maybe Lang has a point after all." *ding

("Agent Lang, the entirety of my complete logic is my final, decisive piece of evidence.") "Redundancy." *ding

(Lance breaks his handcuffs) "No matter how hard this rich brat tries, he will never be Simon Blackquill." *ding

(Lang explains why he's after Amano) "Exposition. Did the game really think we couldn't figure this out on our own?" *ding

"You know, seeing Portsman come to Amano's aid in this case really makes me understand Lang's point of view here. Think: what reason does Lang have to believe Edgeworth is any different from Portsman at this point in time? For all he knows, the two are of the same nature: locals protecting their corrupt overlords from foreign scrutiny. Both have past ties with Amano. Both had (or have, in Portsman's case) their reputations as prosecutors more keen on verdicts than the truth. I won't remove a sin for this, but I do appreciate when the rival's perspective is as easily understood as the protagonist's." *no sin

(Shih-na explains Lang's hatred of prosecutors) "Sequel-shadowing." *ding

"Edgeworth can't tell that Paups wants to fuck him from a mile away. It's... actually, somewhat funny." *no sin

(Kay showing Edgeworth a cravat causes him to remember Turnabout Reminiscence) "Ending narration." *ding

 **Total Sin Tally: 117**

 **Sentence: The Proto Badger (in your nightmares)**

* * *

 **A/N's: In case the fact that this case's sin tally is higher than that of the first and second case combined, I was not fond of this episode. Not because it was especially painful to sit through, but because it was unoriginal and boring with weak characters. If it hadn't introduced Kay and Lang to the game, I would have no reason to ever want to replay it outside of this review. I still somewhat don't, to be honest. But it isn't as hair-pullingly annoying as the last section of Turnabout Ablaze (its final section is actually rather short) so I give it kudos for that.**

 **But the next case is probably my favorite one from this game by a mile. Strong mystery, more engaging characters in Yew and Badd, the return of MVK in a new context, the ending... all this gave me hope that this game was going to have its shit together for the finale. Sadly, that did not come to pass. The only thing that keeps me from truly ranking this game last (even below JFA) is that it paved the way for the far superior AAI2. I cannot wait to sin that game. It's going to take forever, but I know I'll love it.**

 **Anyway, hope you enjoyed the newest installment, leave your thoughts below, and I'll see you on the far side!**


	4. Everything Wrong With: Episode Four

Everything Wrong With: Ace Attorney Investigations: Miles Edgeworth

Episode Four: Turnabout Reminiscence

"Opening narration." *ding

(The courtroom cutscene) "Well, this must be the fastest resolution to a trial ever. And that _includes_ the Fission Mail opening from T&T." *ding

"Yew's Objections are voiced in the case proper, but left silent in the cutscene. Why does that change from the opening to the actual case?" *ding

(Faraday is accused) "When a defendant who's already confessed and has nothing to lose accuses the prosecutor of ordering a murder with no evidence, the prosecutor gets taken off the case and replaced. But when a defense attorney presents evidence to accuse a prosecutor of the same thing despite having already found his client innocent four years later, that prosecutor remains at the bench with no consequences whatsoever. Hu- wha- why? ? ?" *ding

(Gameplay begins) "Miles Edgeworth in demon mode. It's not as bad when he's the playable character, but the core of the sin remains." *ding

"Game plays Franziska's Great Revival theme for Manfred Von Karma. There are _so_ many reasons why that's wrong.. _._." *ding

"Von Karma is Edgeworth's mentor and adoptive father, but he's still referred to by first name in the speech box. Franziska gets her first name in the speech box already. It's not like they had to worry about us confusing the two." *ding

(Edgeworth observes that the courthouse model transforms into something with an arm and face) "At no point in the series does the courthouse model ever go Transformer and avenge 'random ex-government worker in the background of this scene'. I want that crossover, goddammit!" *ding

"All these judges' portraits on the walls in this room, and we only ever meet three in this country. Not to mention, two only show up in a single game." *ding

"Edgeworth is all gung ho about prosecuting his first case, but... even if one didn't know ahead of time AAI would contain no court segments, no one who's played T&T before this is falling for it. Edgeworth's first trial is against Mia Fey, not Calisto Yew." *ding

(Von Karma quizzes Edgeworth on the case at hand) "Exponarration." *ding

(The second KG-8 Incident) "Incident from x years ago is related to today cliche." *ding

"Deid Mann." *ding

(Yatagarasu news article) "The Daily Express is a tabloid newspaper in the UK, not Los Angeles." *ding

"Von Karma criticizes literally _anyone else_ for overdramatic murder plans." *ding

(Child!Kay Faraday is adorable) *quietly removes a sin

"Detective Badd." *removes another sin

"Calisto Yew's earrings." *ding

("This detective is entirely too excited to be a detective at a murder scene...") "Miles Edgeworth would be awesome at CinemaSins." *ding

("So you're a student of Von Karma. I should have... Phwwh...! Those clothes are a dead giveaway.") "Yew steals sins from my previous reviews." *ding

"Badd's theme." *third sin removed

"Von Karma goes out of his way to shit talk a man who was just murdered." *ding

"They also play Franziska's Great Revival for you- it's not just any character theme! It was used in a very specific context for Farewell My Turnabout and absolutely does _not_ suit either Von Karma as a character in this case. For a game with mostly great music, it baffles me how poorly it's willing to appropriate music from prequels." *ding

"Franziska says she's on summer vacation... in early September." *ding

(At the crime scene) "Franziska's dialogue forgets she isn't old enough for a real whip in this episode. For future reference, she is currently holding a riding crop. I don't feel like sinning this every time it comes up, so let this be a blanket sin for all occasions to which it applies." *ding

(Badd dodges Franziska's riding crop) "I gotta say, this scene would be a lot more badass with an actual whip. Since it's just a riding crop, I can't remove sins for it." *but I don't add any, either

"Why would Yew place the gun in Faraday's right hand? She's worked with him several times as both a defense attorney and the Yatagarasu. She should know which hand is dominant for him." *ding

"How is there already autopsy data? The bodies haven't even been removed yet." *ding

(Proving how Yew is related to the KG-8 Incident) "When you finish the game, you realize that the answer that moves the gameplay forward here is actually the wrong one. Yew isn't really related to Cece Yew. Her relation to the case is through Manny Coachen and Quercus Alba as a fellow member of the smuggling ring. But if you select that option here, you lose part of your life bar." *not really a sin, just kinda interesting

(Von Karma wants Edgeworth to become a first rate prosecutor because "it wouldn't be very interesting otherwise") "Does it still count as foreshadowing if the events in question happened chronologically later but release-order earlier? I mean, it's a sin either way, but-" *ding

"Why does Yew go with the lie that Cece was her _little_ sister? The Organizer profile section says Calisto Yew is currently 22, and KG-8 was three years ago by this point. While not impossible for someone who was 18 or younger to land an embassy job, it _is_ wildly unlikely. Not to mention, this lie is easily disproven if Cece was indeed older than 18 at death. Unless Calisto Yew follows the Franziska Von Karma model for referring to siblings, this lie is so shit at holding up to scrutiny that I'm surprised it _isn't_ what does her in." *ding

"Speaking of profiles in the Organizer... no way is Manny Coachen only 24 when he has more wrinkles than 53-year-old Deid Mann. Just saying." *ding

"Edgeworth warns Franziska that she might get sued if she hits the wrong people. Doesn't he know her whip has no consequences? Acknowledging the possibility in Franziska's third game to appear is too little, too late if you ask me. Did she lose the potential for consequences when she graduated to an actual whip? I'm so confused!" *ding

"Franziska is eager to frisk Gumshoe? That beats _my_ \- wait, shit, she's thirteen in this episode." *sin on _me_ for making a joke like this

"Kay's first meeting with Edgeworth involved her kicking him in the back of the knees for being a dick to Gumshoe. It's... actually, somewhat funny." *no sin

"Hey, what is this two person table in the courtroom for? Does the defendant sit here? Why are there two chairs, then? We never see it in the other games, and it's given no explanation." *ding

(The hallway poster) "Justice! Judgement! Reenactment of the nightmare sequence from JFA?" *ding

("I'm beginning to sense that I might want to avoid being in a trial run by this judge...") "...Proceeds to have this judge preside over every single one of his cases, save two." *ding

"The fact that the men's restroom has any windows at all, let alone windows that can be seen into from the third floor lobby. This seems like really poor architectural planning." *ding

"I wonder if Detective Badd remembers Gregory Edgeworth from the IS-7 case. It's implied earlier that he's met Von Karma, which opens the possibility for a sequel to explore later. If Badd _does_ remember Edgeworth the elder, he must have found this meeting with Miles Edgeworth strange, indeed." *no sin, just me thinking

(The judge's testimonies) "How old are the judge's grandchildren? He mentions a grandson in 2012 and a granddaughter in 2027, discussing both as if they're small children. But since it's fifteen years between those times, he either has more than one child who had kids at different times, or there are some crazy age differences in his extended family." *ding

"Edgeworth makes fun of Franziska's height now, but just wait until she's an adult, and 5'1" without heels. In related news, I may know why Franziska wears such tall heels to work every day." *ding

("That's true. One doesn't usually think 'balloons' in conjunction with 'courthouses'.") "Unless you're Turnabout Storyteller, in which case balloons feature heavily. Much to the judge's delight." *ding

"I can understand Edgeworth and Franziska's fondness for the prosecutor's bench, but why do both the judge and Gumshoe set up shop at the defense bench while giving their testimonies? Why not take to the witness stand for this occasion?" *ding

"Related: how is Franziska hitting Gumshoe with her riding crop from the opposite bench? That thing isn't nearly as long as her whip." *ding

"Kay on the prowl." *ding

(Kay blows her nose on Edgeworth's cravat) "Hahahahahaha his _face_." *removes a sin

"Edgeworth keeps spare cravats in his pocket. Now there's a headcanon I never expected to have confirmed." *ding

"Kay gets all mad when Edgeworth yells at Gumshoe, but Franziska can hit him with her riding crop all she wants and Kay won't say a peep." *ding

"How long was Yew waiting here? Was she standing behind the door, ready for a dramatic entrance? Why?" *ding

"How did Yew file the paperwork for Gumshoe to be arrested? She's a defense attorney." *ding

(Yew says it's reckless to talk to a suspect without a guard because otherwise he "may regret what comes of his negligence") "Foreshadowing." *ding

(Franziska predicts that someone might try to steal a painting from the courthouse defendant lobbies for an extra buck) "This never happens. Not even in the cases that prominently feature thieves, such as The Stolen Turnabout." *ding

(Badd's speech about how he, Faraday, and Yew all were pursuing the smuggling ring and reached the law's limit at the same time) "One heaping bowl of Yatagarasu foreshadowing, coming right up." *ding

(Judge says this was his first time on the witness stand) "Except you weren't standing at the witness stand at all. You were over by the defense bench." *ding

"Why did it take so long for the evidence to be transferred to Edgeworth? I know the plot reasons behind it, but if there was an in-universe explanation, I missed it." *ding

"Edgeworth tells Franziska not to point her crop at him, and I can't even be happy that someone finally referenced the correct weapon because Franziska is _clearly_ aiming at the judge in this shot. Not Edgeworth." *ding

(Proving the Yatagarsu's Key and the knife are one and the same) "The handle has butterflies, Edgeworth. It's not _that_ unique." *ding

"If Badd is so sure that the lobby rooms are soundproof, why doesn't he think it's weird that he and Yew were able to hear a gunshot from the other room? I know Edgeworth points it out later, but Badd is in no way an idiot. The thought should have occurred to him hours ago." *ding

(Stream of Logic proving how Badd and Gumshoe heard the gunshot) "Not as dramatic as the second case's, but probably the best written logic stream in terms of this game. Unlike the other cases, everything makes sense, and no one is required to act completely illogically for the case to work out. If one looks just as the mystery itself, this case is the best of the game by far." *no sin, just praise

"Rewinding video tapes in 2012. Are we sure this isn't 2002? At this point, we should at least be using DVDs." *ding

"Thirteen year old Franziska tells her adoptive brother that she 'demands satisfaction'. Because that's not creepy." *ding

(As soon as Edgeworth figures out the killer's plot, Yew sends a bailiff to tell him she wants to tell him who the murderer is) "Obvious foreshadowing is obvious. And unnecessary, considering how late in the case we are." *ding

"When rattled, Yew reapplies all her makeup to hide the effects of sweating. While I have no idea where she's storing all these cosmetics on her person, this is probably one of the most logical damage animations in the series. I'll be damned if I don't call it out and appreciate it." *no sin

(Yew smears her lipstick when cornered) "How is she able to apply her makeup in such straight lines? I _wish_ my hands were that steady." *ding

"Also, we never see her wipe lipstick off after she makes a mistake. Where is she keeping her makeup wipes?" *ding

"When the screen zoom's out for the eye-to-eye shots of Edgeworth and Yew, the courtroom is magically empty. Where does everyone go? Why do they leave?" *ding

("...Yes, but no matter what sort of trick she may pull, she won't escape me!") "I don't know, Edgeworth. The gun she pulls in the ending is a pretty effective trick, and she _does_ manage to escape you with it." *ding

"Also, though Edgeworth couldn't have known this ahead of time, the argument that Yew couldn't have killed Faraday because she didn't have the knife on her nor knew where it came from is pretty moot when you realize she's been packing heat this whole episode. If Yew can sneak a gun into the courthouse unnoticed, a knife should be child's play." *ding

"Edgeworth and Franziska finish each other's sentences for the final portion of the case." *ding

(Yew tricks Edgeworth into letting her "examine" the key/knife) "This works on not one, but two prosecutors. The first one died for their mistakes, and the second came close. Edgeworth, I hope you're ashamed." *ding

"Yew takes this opportunity to confess to even more crimes than required for the sake of... foreshadowing the finale? I guess she knew ahead of time her escape plan was foolproof and she might as well get some quality taunting in before she used it?" *ding

(Yew references the three legs of the Yatagarasu before whipping out a gun) "Speaking of foreshadowing..." *ding

"Also, I hate to ruin the theatrics, but who thinks anything is going to happen to Edgeworth because of this? As of now, the only character not ensured to make it past this case chronologically is Badd. Any player who's gone through the other cases of this game knows Edgeworth's going to survive this." *ding

"That said... it's still a pretty badass way to escape. This move makes Yew one of only two confessed villains to escape capture at any point in the series, second only to Shelly de Killer." *removes a sin

"And that, my friends, is the origin story of how Edgeworth and Gumshoe began their working relationship. With Edgeworth saving Gumshoe from a murder charge and feeding him chocolate." *ding

(Kay was worried Edgeworth and Gumshoe had forgotten about her) "Oh, nothing of the sort. They just had to wait for the players to catch up to acknowledge your secret shared past, is all." *ding

"Ending narration. About the same topic as the opening narration, no less." *ding

 **Total Sin Tally: 62**

 **Sentence: Courthouse Transformer Stampede**

* * *

 **A/N's: I think I may have mentioned this before, but Reminiscence is my favorite case of the game. As I said above, it had the tightest mystery, some of the game's better characters without any truly annoying ones dragging the case downs, and it sets up the finale to be something good and interesting. Sure, the finale really dropped the ball in that regard, but that not Reminiscence's fault. Since this case is my favorite of the game (and fairly short besides), it got significantly fewer sins than Kidnapped or (I imagine) Ablaze.**

 **Speaking of Ablaze... oof. I have to sin that shitshow next, don't I? To be fair, it's not a shitshow for the entire case, but those last few hours are going to be brutal. I intentionally erased everything about Ablaze from my memory, so it's not even as though I can sin it without playing again. I have to replay it while I'm sinning. Ideally, I would play it, then play it through again while sinning, but that would require me to play Ablaze twice. And that is something I refuse to do, even for this fanfic's sake.**

 **Even so, I hope you enjoyed the review. Thanks for tuning in, don't forget to leave your thoughts below, and I'll see you on the far side!**


	5. Everything Wrong With: Episode Five

Everything Wrong With: Ace Attorney Investigations: Miles Edgeworth

Episode Five: Turnabout Ablaze

"Game wastes perfectly epic title and opening on, well... this case. Seriously. Watch the case opening and tell me you cannot _taste_ the potential this episode had for itself at the beginning." *no sin, but none removed either. This case doesn't deserve it

"That said, Edgeworth mixes up his ravens in the opening narration. He calls the black raven on the white background a 'white raven', and the white one on the black background 'black'. Obvious symbolism for Yew vs. Kay aside, who forgot to switch the order on these animations and/or lines of dialogue?" *ding

"Did Edgeworth sleep in his office after the events of the first case? That... wouldn't surprise me. He must have that couch in there for a reason, after all." *ding

"Truth theme played over narration about past episodes. I love the song too, but this use of it is completely unwarranted." *ding

("How did I manage to find myself in the middle of so many cases back to back?") "Simple: Yamakazi can't write natural-feeling time gaps and suspenseful overarching plots at the same time. This game is most definitely Exhibit A, but see also: AAI2, SoJ, and the main cases of DD." *ding

"Why does Edgeworth ever suspect Yew of being the one who held him at gunpoint last night? Even if he never saw Badd, he should know the voice was male." *ding

"Recapping an episode we literally just played." *ding

"Why would Yew invoke the Yatagarasu identity seven years after her confession? It's not like she's been using the name at _all_ in the years since, and she would have only found out about Kay's Robin Hood fetish yesterday, which is nowhere near enough time to set this complicated-ass plan in motion. All I'm saying is that this lady's timing is both confusing as shit and _hella_ convenient for the plot." *ding

"It takes Edgeworth and Kay seven hours to find and enter the correct embassy. Was the exact location not explicitly mentioned in the newspaper article?" *ding

"Aw fuck it. They had to drag the Steel Samurai into this case, didn't they?" *ding

(In the lobby) "Why is the cameraman filming Edgeworth? His reporter is standing off to the right." *ding

"The Steel Samurai had a son? When did this happen? I need my Steel Samurai lore updated regularly, goddammit!" *ding

"Edgeworth can approach Lotta as many times as he wishes and she _still_ won't recognize him. I guess two of her three stints as a witness (in finales, no less) weren't that memorable after all." *ding

(Edgeworth fanboying over the Steel Samurai) "This scene is mildly funny in retrospect, when you realize the man under the mask is Larry and all, but are we forgetting that Edgeworth met the real Steel Samurai actor (Will Powers) _twice_ by this point? Why would he not be shy then, but starstruck now? This minor inconsistency bothers me _way_ more than it should." *ding

"How did both Larry _and_ Oldbag land this gig, anyway? For a performance with such sensitive diplomatic implications, I would almost be banking on one of them to fuck it up. Lucky for the two of them, a double murder happens before either one gets the chance." *ding

"Is it just me, or does the Jammin' Ninja's mask look like a recolored Deadpool in this shot?" *ding

(Babahl Embassy on fire) "Case waits until I'm over half a thousand words into its review to properly go Ablaze." *ding

"Babahl's security guard gives no fucks about Kay entering their embassy with the intent to break into another. How does that guy still have a job here?" *ding

(Shih-na attempts to arrest Kay) "I just noticed: this bitch got red eyes. Not only is that creepy as shit, but how did no one notice they were part of a disguise before it's revealed later in this episode? It's not as though that's a natural eye color!" *ding

(Coachen was murdered in an embassy) "Well, look on the bright side: at least we know the Saudis are innocent this time." *sin on me for joking about this

"Colias Palaeno's hand motions. He looks like he is constantly applying lotion." *ding

"Also, Colias Palaeno's smile." *ding

("We may have a paltry budget, but we're trying to make due.") "First Lang, then Palaeno. Do none of the characters in this game know the correct homophone involved in the phrase 'make do'? I'm just saying: it's too oddly specific a grammar mistake to make twice in one game." *ding

"Both Edgeworth and Gumshoe are awfully protective of a girl they met yesterday for the first time in seven years. Especially considering all they've seen of her modern self involves wanting to become a vigilante thief. If the pair were Phoenix and Maya... sure, I could believe this no problem. But a pair involving Miles Edgeworth? No way, man." *ding

(The export of Babahlese ink is heavily restricted for confidential reasons) "Is it related to the production of Labyrinthian ink, by any chance?" *ding

"Shih-na is supposedly a Zheng Fa'ian Interpol agent, and she's making an arrest in the Babahlese embassy on their government's behalf... but she reads the _American_ Miranda Rights to Kay while arresting her. This makes _no sense_." *ding

"Hey, here's a question: if Yew ran far, far away with the Yatagarasu's Key, how has Coachen been opening and using his safe all these years? Did she return the key to him shortly after the fourth case's conclusion? When would she have had an opportunity to do that? I'm not saying it couldn't have happened, but it _could_ have been explained." *ding

"Sure is convenient that both Allebahst and Babahl felt the need to label _all their shit_ with butterflies or flowers and that nothing, save the Yatagarasu's Key, is left over from Codophia when the symbols were presented together. If these knives and their handles were plain, Kay would have been fuck- where have I written this sin before?" *ding

(Kay's speech to Shih-na about how she, Kay Faraday, is the real Yatagarasu and that no one will get away with claiming otherwise) "This speech would make a lot more sense if Kay foresaw who she was really talking to, but... she doesn't know that Shih-na is Calisto Yew yet, right? Why is Kay foreshadowing a twist that she herself doesn't know about?" *ding

(Lang's men all count off using the number one) "...Okay, fine. That was funny." *grudgingly removes a sin

"Does Lang buy birthday presents for _everyone_ his men are distantly related to? That's nice and all, but it would also be insanely expensive, if true. And if not... what's so special about this one guy's younger brother's wife's younger brother? That's never explained." *ding

"Lang hates prosecutors, but refers to Franziska as his sister and is nothing but polite to her _._ What makes Franziska exempt from his prosecutor hatred? Is it because they're both Interpol agents now? This is also never explained." *ding

"Quercus Alba." *only five sins pre-transformation

"Alba takes _forever_ to walk off-screen. If you're wondering why this case is as long as it is, it's... mostly because of endless loops of diplomatic frustration, but also because of shit like this." *ding

"Why would someone use a special export-restricted ink to make counterfeit money? Unless the Zheng Fa'ians also use Babahlese ink on their money, this is just asking to get caught. File this sin in the same category as Engarde's giant bear as 'particularly egregious example of culprit foiling their own plot'. My question is no longer how Interpol discovered this information, but rather how it took them this long." *ding

"And since when is the smuggling ring in the counterfeit money business to begin with? When we were introduced to the group earlier, all they were doing was stealing art. I'm not saying this is that much of a leap, but a bit more setup would have been nice." *ding

(Larry Butz is the Steel Samurai) "Edgeworth speaks for every player ever when they discover Larry was needlessly inserted into this case." *three sins for _now_

"How does Larry hear his own introduction? Edgeworth used an internal monologue to conduct it. Unless... don't tell me. _Shit._ " *ding

("Oh, sorry, am I interrupting your comical, yet melodramatic play?") "Lang possesses entirely too much genre awareness to be an underutilized rival character in this series." *ding

"Already overly bloated finale centered around smuggling and diplomacy managed to cram both Mask*DeMasque and the Yatagarasu into the same case. And Capcom wonders why their work was poorly received." *ding

"Edgeworth and Franziska waste time discussing the mutualism of flowers and butterflies in this episode." *ding

("...We got your point about three 'foolish'-es back, Franziska.") "Miles Edgeworth would be awesome at CinemaSins." *ding

"Larry says he's given up on his Laurice phase, but hops back on that shit in time for the sequel. Because what players _really_ didn't like about this appearance was his lack of an artist persona. Clearly." *ding

("Unfortunately, I don't have the time to search out a key to unlock your heart this time.") "You also don't have a Magatama. But don't worry: the introduction of Logic Chess in the next game more than makes up for this fact." *ding

"Larry was on the roof of the Allebahstian Embassy... so he could drop down the chimney and pretend he was Santa Claus. I don't even care that he's lying. That is so stupid, I feel dumber for typing it. But this case has worse coming, so it only gets one sin." *ding

(Franziska comments on the appearance of Wendy Oldbag with "...And yet another strange character comes crawling out of the woodwork.") "Franziska Von Karma would also be great at CinemaSins." *ding

"The recurrence of Wendy Oldbag. Twice in the same game, no less. What did I give this shit in the third episode, again?" *thirty more sins

("H-How can this happen two days in a roooooooow?!") "Edgeworth is every player ever when it comes to the Pink Princess reveal." *ding

"How does Franziska not remember Oldbag? The last time she handled this bitch, she had to get an autograph from a dead dude. I... can't imagine that was easy." *ding

(Larry is Oldbag's "stalker") "Game has time for this." *ding

"Missile in an ultimately useless cameo. I may love dogs, but-" *I still sin this

"If Missile was going to eat the hot dog all along, why did he bring it to Franziska first? Why not just eat it where it was found? Does this game know how dogs work?" *ding

("I wonder if Ambassador Alba might have an interest in cross-dressing?") "Alba the Drag Queen did not make it into the final version of the game. Why not? It's not like his character could've been _worse_ than what this game contains." *ding

"Oldbag confesses to being married in this rant, but she still pursues Edgeworth like a crazed cougar. And who willingly married her, anyway?" *ding

(The fireplaces) "Secret passageway cliche. It's a relatively minor issue in this fandom specifically, but a downright epidemic in the mystery genre as a whole." *ding

("I am not about to waste our time on such a trifling matter.") "Good for you, Edgeworth, but can you get Yamakazi to agree to that same logic? I swear, if he took out all the unnecessary side quests in this case, this finale would lose half its runtime. And that's not even including the final slog." *ding

"Oldbag has the hots for Lang. I would say he can have her, but I don't dislike his character _that_ much." *ding

(Larry misquotes Kristoph Gavin) "Have these two even met? ...What was that meeting like?" *ding

(Edgeworth and Franziska argue about the validity of Manfred Von Karma's methods) "I would be into this type of talk in a normal context, but seeing as the focus of discussion here is Larry... yeah. Game has time for this." *ding

"The same conversation also features Edgeworth referencing a bridge crumbling underneath his feet, but... that didn't happen to him. That happened to Phoenix. For a game that likes to copy aspects of T&T, it sure is bad at getting the details right." *ding

"What was the point of asking for Alba's permission if we were going to examine the statue regardless? I swear, this case will find any reason at all to waste game time." *ding

"Ending chapter narration. You know shit's bad when the game feels the need to give recaps two sevenths of its way into the case. That's right. We're not even a _third_ of the way done with this case. And that is a sin." *ding

(At the Open-Air Theater/Rose Garden) "Edgeworth, in a surprising twist of fate, is team ladder. Considering how particular he is about detail in other areas, I find this stance rather unusual." *ding

(Edgeworth claims Babahl is just as strict as Allebahst in investigating who and what enters their embassy) "No they aren't." *ding

"Palaeno says that the Republic of Babahl and Kingdom of Allehbahst were looking into reunification, but... how would that work exactly? They have completely different systems of government, if their names are anything to go by. Would they go Britain and adopt a constitutional monarchy? And why do they want to get back together again anyway within just seven years of- you know you're overanalyzing a sin when you put more thought into the issue than the game itself did, so why don't I just stop here?" *ding

"Larry swimming fully clothed in the Steel Samurai suit. I cannot imagine Global Studios is happy." *ding

"Why is Lang so convinced the shadow he saw was the Yatagarasu? Ignore the crowd's reaction for a second and look at the shadow itself. Does anyone think the Yatagarasu is _actually_ a deformed raven? In the previous case, everyone at least seemed sure the thief was a human being." *ding

(Badd appears with a photo) "Oh sure. Lotta will talk to Badd, but not to Edgeworth. Not that I wanted another drawn out character recurrence added to this case, but I would have no problems exchanging Oldbag for Lotta. At least Lotta provides something useful every time." *ding

(The photo) "'Our killer could fly' cliche. See what you did, Turnabout Big Top. I hope you're- no, seriously. Where have I written these sins before?" *ding

"Also, I have the same issue with this case as I did with Turnabout Big Top: where is wire? It should be at least somewhat visible in this shot, and yet it is nowhere to be seen." *ding

"Game references Bridge and Big Top in the same sentence. Please _never_ do that again." *ding

(Examining Coachen's office again) "I hate in this game how, if examining an item nets you a new topic of conversation, you still have to walk over to the person to have said conversation. They can't just say their piece while you're on the other side of the room and still in examination mode. Especially in a room like this one where you have to walk around a ton of things." *ding

"Palaeno looks entirely too happy in his supposed 'shocked' animation." *ding

"I've been meaning to ask this: if the Primidux statues are so important to both countries, why are the being kept in their respective American embassy? Why not the country itself? Was it so the series didn't have to pull a DGS and switch between continents for cases six years early? I say DGS and not SoJ because, well, DGS did it first, even though I'm writing these reviews for an English-reading audience, and- darn it! I'm supposed to be sinning the game! Not _me_." *ding

(Proving Babahl also has a revolving fireplace wall) "I understand where Edgeworth is going with this, but the game has taken great pains to remind us that Coachen's room is _not_ the ambassador's office, whereas Alba's is They're not even on the same floor, dammit. As such, bilateral symmetry should only guarantee a secret passage in Palaeno's office and be meaningless in the case of this room. Unless this game is telling me that every room with a fireplace in this embassy _also_ has a revolving panel, this logic does not hold up to scrutiny. Edgeworth is ultimately Wright, of course, but his argument proves nothing." *ding

("Quite a few pieces connect in a complex way in this case... It's almost enough to make one completely mentally exhausted.") "If the writers could predict ahead of time how this case would be received, why didn't they do anything to change its fate? You can argue that this description is equally applicable to the sequel and its finale, but I don't spend hours plotting Simon Keyes's death. You know why that is? Because the sequel actually made sure it had a fascinating, emotionally impactful storyline to go along with the investigations, whereas this game didn't think that was necessary. They resolve every interesting aspect of this game halfway through the finale, then leave you wondering why you agreed to stagger through the rest. We aren't there yet, but when we get past Yew's arrest... Trust me when I say I will ensure you suffer with me. If I had to replay this case to the end for you guys' sakes, the least you all can do is keep me company." *ding

"Lang says he's staked the honor of his house on tracking down the fake money, but... hasn't the Lang family honor been in severe recession ever since a prosecutor screwed his father? We're given more details in the sequel, but the incident was mentioned here, so I feel comfortable invoking it. And in asking: what does Lang's family honor even mean in this context, anyway? That's like when Franziska would swear on the honor of Von Karma that... oh." *ding

"Also, Lang has me confused. In this scene, he says that ink was smuggled into Zheng Fa to make the bills, but in the previous chapter, the bills were made here, in Babahl's American embassy. So... which is it?" *ding

"Gumshoe upstages Edgeworth's objection. That's wrong no matter how you look at it." *ding

"Edgeworth, Gumshoe, and Kay agree not to reveal the Babahl fireplace trick to Lang... right in front of Agent Lang." *ding

(Edgeworth exposes Lang's hypocrisy in arresting suspects) "Edgeworth does my job for me." *ding

"Also, rivals who _actually apologize_ when confronted with the weight of their own mistakes? Did... did I wander into a different game series just now?" *ding

"Shih-na blows her cover with the power of laughter. And uncanny animation, but she didn't have any control over that one. Because, you know, it's not like this twist would have been fun for players to figure out on our own or anything. No, we _definitely_ wanted the highlight of this case spoonfed to us." *ding

"Hey, why are there no ashes on the other side of the fireplace, anyway? Even if the revolving door was used, there were _two embassy fires_ raging above and nearby. Are you telling me no ashes were left in or around the fireplace area from that alone? If anything, shouldn't the more definitive proof be the spilled ink? Why bother with this ashes bullshit, anyway?" *ding

(Shih-na's second argument) "Behold: the only time Confrontation: Presto is used in a case for a character who is not said episode's culprit in this game. I would have said 'used for a non-killer', but that would be ignoring the fact that Yew-na killed three people in the flashback case, so..." *ding

(Game decides Kay needs a pep talk before Edgeworth goes in for the kill on Yew-na) "While sweet... game has time for this? Needs this? Best we can tell, Kay's been holding up fine this entire episode thus far. But we needed to foreshadow her attempting to rush this bitch later, so-" *ding

"Yew-na makes a good point regarding the validity of conclusions drawn from Little Thief, and the game's response is to subvert her point entirely. Probably because the game already knows the answer to that question, and doesn't want to get in the habit of answering it before on-screen emotions come into the picture." *ding

("Mr. Edgeworth! I've found some things you really need to examine, sir!") "'You need to come take a look at this cli'- wait, this isn't regular CinemaSins! I'm a fandom specific imposter, goddammit!" *sin on me for fucking up

"Yew-na asks us how we're going to prove her coat has ink on it, and Edgeworth's response is to burn the thing. Apparently 'forensics' is no longer a valid option in this universe." *ding

"Edgeworth releases a large section of burning cloth onto the ground of an embassy with two recent fires and is shocked when it- wait. How the fuck did this not end poorly?" *ding

(Presenting the perfume to prove Yew and Shih-na truly are one) "Wait, hold on a minute. This works? Is this game really telling me that Kay was able to preserve evidence down to the fingerprints on the bottle without mistake since she was _ten_? One smudge on the print from when she rubbed the bottle as a preteen, and this case is over. And even if she nailed the preservation of evidence, why would this be allowed in court? Kay has an obvious motive for forging evidence, here. Any defense attorney worth their salt could easily argue that the girl who lost her father to Yew and wants to see someone jailed for it is an unreliable bearer of evidence in this case. Sure, that doesn't absolve Yew-na from the crimes she committed _this_ episode, but it does make it harder to prove she's guilty of the triple murder from Reminiscence. Honestly, they could even argue her confession came under pressure from Quercus Alba, just like the rest of her role in this case. So... yeah. Pretty sure she's getting away with some shit here. " *ding

(Yew-na's breakdown) "First Engarde, now this lady. What is it this series and their obsession with giving their villains vampire fangs?" *ding

"For the second time in as many episodes, Yew holds Kay at gunpoint. It's... actually, the most exhilarating part of the case. Shame it goes downhill from here." *no sin

(The Yatagarasu was three people all along, as confirmed by Detective Badd) " _So_ badass... I'm sorry. I actually have to remove a sin for this part." *removes a sin

"Game really tries to make us think it has the balls to kill an underage assistant character in this episode, making her the first victim to die under the age of eighteen. For all that I like Kay, I would have removed _all_ my sins thus far if that were the case. Unfortunately, game doesn't have the balls to be so bold, and we have to wait for the sequel before they shake up the series formula in the most significant way since since Farewell, My Turnabout." *ding

(Revealing who was really shot) "Lang is a badass... and clearly attended the Von Karma school of walking off gunshot wounds like they're nothing. Difficult to accomplish when one's shot in the leg." *but I don't sin it

(Yew-na reveals she isn't really the Big Bad of this game) "I hate Yew- I mean, you. You were the best villain this game had to offer (even if that's only middling in the context of the greater series), and you mean to tell me we've been barking up the wrong tree this whole time? And that there are three more chapters in the case after this? Fuck you!" *ten sins

(Badd reveals that he was the one who robbed Edgeworth at gunpoint) "This game doesn't let us figure any of the fun things out for ourselves, does it? Make no mistake, I still like this twist, but the method of delivery makes it hard for me to remove sins for it." *no sin

"The story behind the inversely colored Yatagarasu cards... is a lot cooler than I remember it being. I know how rough this case is going to get later, so I am being generous for as long as I can because I don't want sin counts over a million." *removes a sin

(The ending chapters begin) "Begone all hope for ye who enter here... beyond this gate lay a headache-inducing labyrinth of contrived difficulty and lack of personal investment in all that happens. But know that I have promised ye readers a full CinemaSins-style review. And together, we may brave this darkness... one diplomatic/evidence presenting loop at a time." *let's go

"It only took Gumshoe seven minutes to arrest and process Badd at the police station? Is Criminal Affairs next door to this place or something? This is never explained." *ding

"Why are we still using VCRs in 2019? Are we sure this isn't 1999?" *ding

(Lang accuses Franziska to keep the investigation going) "Even though this is just a ruse, it's still the closest Franziska ever comes to being a suspect in a murder case. And that is a sin. I wanted to defend her in a main series game, goddammit. She hasn't even been _in_ the last three!" *ding

(Lang catches Franziska's whip mid-air) "Some badass moves." *removes a sin

"Nothing Edgeworth says to defend Franziska is wrong here, but I feel like there's a much easier way to prove Lang wrong: how the fuck would Franziska have been able to carry two whole ass statues through the Theatrum Neutralis without _anyone_ noticing? I'm sympathetic to what Lang is doing, so I won't sin any harder than this, but-" *ding

(How the statues were moved) "Some wack-ass bullshit. What penalty did I give similar antics in Bridge to the Turnabout, again? Yeah? Double that." *forty sins

"You know what I really hate about how evidence is filed in this case? Even after you prove that the two Primidux statues were swapped, they're still filed by location of appearance and not country of origin. I cannot tell you how many times I presented the wrong Primidux statue due to this fact alone." *ding

(Alba argues that we don't know he swapped the statues to hide counterfeit plates) "What even is Alba's argument, here? That, for all we know, Alba agreed to give up his country's symbolic right to rule for no reason at all? We know that doesn't make sense! What should I sin harder, the fact that he makes this argument, or the fact that it works? Why choose one when you can have both?" *two sins

"Edgeworth insists both pieces of evidence that would end this case here and now are illegal, but... why? When we learned evidence law in Rise from the Ashes, we were presented with only two rules: evidence must either be formally accepted by police or relevant to the case in t... oh. We aren't in trial, are we? So what are the rules on evidence used in investigations, then? We just went from a 'that's not true' sin to a 'that was never explained' sin. For such a long and drawn out case, you'd think there would have been time to cover some of this shit, and apparently, you'd be wrong." *ding

("And which path is a 'prosecutor' supposed to follow!?") "That of a far superior sequel." *ding

(Zooming in on the car in the footage) "This car is being driven by no one." *ding

"And what even is the shadow over Coachen's face in this shot, anyway? Did someone photoshop the image on a videotape to obscure Coachen's identity? Because that's not possible." *ding

(Alba's transformation) "This bastard. We're all in agreement that he deserves the same number of sins as Ga'ran, right? Good." *forty-five more sins so the two villains can tie

"That said, I love his theme music. And good thing too, because it plays _all the fucking time_ from here on out." *sins cancel out

(Alba argues that Codophian embassy records no longer exist simply because the country does not) "That's not how countries work." *ding

(Alba's face cracks like a porcelain doll in his damage animation) "Well that's creepy as shit." *ding

"Everyone is pissed that Alba takes justified self defense as an out in Ka-Shi Nou's murder, but is that not still a crime in this universe? I mean, we may not know if it's a crime in Allebahst, but it definitely is in America, and the victim was an American citizen as far as we know, so... at _best,_ Alba is going to cause an international incident, irreparably damaging Allebahstian relations with one of the superpowers of the world. And this is supposed to be an out for him... how, exactly?" *ding

(Alba shows off his wounds) "Oh sure, we can get the old man topless in this case, but not the sexy spy murderess? All we got from Yew-na were some nice leg shots, dammi- oh hey. I just made a decent pun. Ha ha." *ding

"Characters pretend like they're giving up on this case for even a second, as if we _don't_ have two chapters of case left. I wanna get through this as fast as possible, so can we skip the melodrama, please?" *ding

(Larry gave both ambassadors bunny ears in their joint photo op with the Steel Samurai) "(Sighs)" *ding

(Reviewing footage to prove that Coachen never returned to the Babahl Embassy after the show) "How did no one notice this until now? The investigation has been going on literally all night, and involves over a _hundred_ investigators! You're telling me no one thought to check when Coachen returned to his office so they could confirm the time of the killing? If nothing else, the immigration official should have thought it was weird when he heard Coachen was found dead in his office, despite never checking the secretariat back in. So why didn't _he_ say- I'm overthinking this when I can just as easily sin." *ding

("Do you understand what I'm saying to you? Your game is done, and it's game over.") "God I wish." *ding

(Palaeno stops Alba from leaving) "The first of many 'surprise' interjections that will save Edgeworth's ass at this stage of the case. Let's give them a bonus round, shall we?"

(Palaeno's) *one sin

(Kay's) *two sins

(Lang's) *three sins

(Gumshoe's) *four sins

(Larry and Oldbag's) *five sins

(Larry's second one) *six sins

(Oldbag's second one) *seven sins

(The forensics guy's) *eight sins

"Alba's Objection voice." *ding

(Kay blackmails Alba into another round of questioning) "Kay's bluff game is on par with any of Phoenix Wright's. Shame those two have never met in canon." *ding

"Four pages of evidence." *ding

"No matter how many 'rounds' of questioning Edgeworth 'wins', the end result is always the same in this chapter: Alba gives no fucks and wants to walk away regardless. This makes the player feel like their efforts are useless, and seeing as we weren't given anywhere near enough reason to care about taking Alba down (at least Ga'ran actually had the ability to kill us)... I've implied it before, and I'll say it outright now: this is easily one of the worst stretches of gameplay in the entire series." *ding

"Cool as Lang's contribution of diplomatic revocation is... would the ex post facto rule apply, here? Even if Alba is not an ambassador right now, he committed his crimes as the Allebahstian ambassador to the US, right? Therefore, losing his post is not sufficient grounds to go after- oh fuck it, I've stopped caring." *ding

"...Actually, wait, I haven't. But for a different reason: if Interpol can convince the people in charge of Allebahst to revoke Alba's ambassadorship, why can't they also convince them to prosecute Alba for his crimes in their own country? What's actually wrong with letting Alba return to Allebahst at this point? Sure, there was the bit earlier about Alba having sway in their justice system, but... more than the imperial house's? _Really_?" *ding

(Alba goes back to his docile position for five seconds) "Where is he getting all these staffs?!" *ding

"I love how, despite all this discussion of Alba killing Coachen in a crowded theater during a stage show open to the general public, no one ever asks Alba how he was able to kill a man without drawing any attention to himself at the time. Even if he left the knife in to minimize blood spatter, Coachen still should have been able to scream, right? Why do stabbing victims never scream in this universe, anyway?" *ding

(Larry and Oldbag donned their costumes and roles for their interjection) "I'll admit: this almost made me laugh. I won't remove the sins I gave it above, but I'm not adding any more down here." *surprisingly enough

"...However, are you really telling me neither of these people have gone home yet? It's past three am! Nothing's been keeping them here, and we haven't spoke to either one of them in at least five hours game-time. Are they not tired?" *ding

"Larry thrusting his 'Samurai Spear'. Because that wasn't pervertedly worded coming from him." *ding

(All this talk about how Alba moved the body got me thinking) "(Rapping poorly) 'I don't dance now. I make bodies move, hey! See, I don't gotta dance-' (the rest has been cut to spare readers' sensibilites)." *ding

(Lang points out that dead bodies and dolls don't float the same through pools) "Goddammit Lang. Can no one let the game end already?" *ding

(How Coachen's body was moved) "Some Mario-ass bullshit. This is almost as crazy as the statue drama, but I don't want to drop another forty sin bomb, and the bonus round's sin count is already gonna get pretty high, so..." *just ten more sins should do it

"Also, how did _no one_ see Yew-na doing this? Remind me how many people were in the embassy when this was going on, again? What are the odds that not a single person saw- yeah, no. I'm tired of this." *ding

"By the time presenting the Pick from the open air stage is necessary, I'd already forgotten it existed. I didn't get a penalty at this stage thanks to process of elimination... and some lucky-ass guessing." *ding

"And isn't arguing that it's the missing petal from the knife handle problematic, anyway? The petal is also missing in the commemorative photo, meaning it should have fallen off long before it ever got a chance to end up in Babahl. Were even the _writers_ done by the time they reached this part of the case? I can't blame them, exactly, but it's still a sin." *ding

"In the end, the thing that ensures Edgeworth's victory... is his copious Steel Samurai knowledge. Who would have thought?" *ding

(Larry asks Edgeworth to introduce him to Kay) "She's under the age of consent in your state. 'Nuff said." *ding

"Also, game has time for this. We're in the final chapter, for Christ's sake!" *ding

(Lang states out loud that he trusts Edgeworth after half a case of implying it) "...Just see my sin above for this one. Seriously, could _none_ of this have waited for the epilogue?" *ding

"Attempt to prove Alba's guilt in a murder dissolves into a pissing match over who is the bigger Steel Samurai fan. Do I need to say it again? Or can you just scroll two sins up and spare me the trouble? I swear, no other game is as reluctant to end as this one." *ding

"Alba's claim for how he ended up the dressing room... is that he lost on the way to the bathroom in his embassy. Fuck. This. Bullshit." *ding

"Hey, I meant to ask this earlier, but how was Alba able to find and schedule a three am flight to Allebahst on such short notice? If he's worried about missing it, it clearly isn't a private plane, and flights at this time, while not impossible to find, are rarer and occur way less often. So this is some crazy ass coincidence right here." *ding

(Oldbag gives us a box of hot dogs that end up being plot-important by complete coincidence) "This entire chain of logic is stupid as shit. There. I said it. But I am happy that it's the last one and that it's fairly easy, so-" *only five sins

(The forensic's dude's "It was meeeee!") "God, even the writers are making fun of this case's 'surprise' interjections. While slightly funny, I would argue that it makes the whole situation worse. They _know_ the case has a problem. They just don't care enough to solve it." *ding

("Quercus Alba! You BASTARD!") "Lang is the only character in this case who is allowed to use swearwords. Why? Is it because he took a bullet in this episode?" *ding

"Of course. The best way to end the beginning of a spinoff series meant to establish a character with a far different personality as an equally solid protagonist... is to have him channel the spirit of Phoenix Wright in the final present. Was this Yamakazi's way of saying he wants to direct a main series game? Because if so... just wait four years, man! You'll get there." *ding

"And I'm late asking this, but is there a reason no one is allowed to refer to Phoenix Wright by name in this spinoff series? He isn't disbarred until next month, right? Did he turn into Voldemort in the month between Bridge and this game? Stuff like this is never explained." *ding

"At the end of the day, Alba and Yew's final arguments before being exposed for good are the exact same: that there's no way somebody could have snuck a knife into a supposedly secure location. Edgeworth's answer is the same as well: that they used the Yatagarasu's Key. Like servant, like master, I guess." *ding

("And I would've gotten away with it too if it weren't for you meddling prosecutors!") "Scooby Doo references. Normally not a sin, but in this case? Everything is a sin. Or haven't you noticed?" *ding

(Alba's breakdown) "Did he lose his eyes?!" *ding

(The epilogue) "I wanna be happy this case is over. I really do. But honestly, I'd rather the game just ended already." *ding

"Edgeworth says it's been a while since he stood in a courtroom right before Alba's trial, so... who prosecuted the other three cases, then? Klavier hasn't started yet, and Franziska's getting ready for a trial in Allebahst, so... Blackquill, if he's active yet? Payne, maybe? How many prosecutors work out of this office, anyway?" *ding

"That all said, we do get a cute selfie out this ending, so... sure, no more sins. Just clap because we're done here."

(I lied) "Kay claims she's going to return someday with a three person thief team. This never happens." *ding

"Also, ending narration." *ding

 **Total Sin Tally: 321 (285 without the bonus round)**

 **Sentence: Samurai Dog Eating Contest (with Wendy Oldbag)**

* * *

 **A/N's: Thank fuck that is done with. Oh gosh. I actually wanted to work on other fics today, but even half the case's review took all day. I've been chipping away at this for over a month.**

 **In happier news... Merry Late Christmas, fandom! Behold, my present to you: sinning the worst finale this series has to offer. If you don't include the bonus round, this case lost to Turnabout Revolution for highest number of sins accrued in a single case (that is, if you count all of Turnabout Revolution as one case. If you don't, this case blew it and the next highest contender (Turnabout Succession) out of the water) by a margin of only seventeen sins. For a game total, you have 575 sins, with this _case_ earning five less sins than the previous four episodes _combined._ If you do include the bonus round, then this game actually won 611 sins. Ablaze would also reign as the most sinned case in the series, even coming within striking distance of the first _game's_ total sin count. Either way... woah.**

 **I don't even want to know yet how that's going to compare with AAI2. I may love AAI2 and consider it my favorite of the series, but that game is long as fuck and packed to the brim with some crazy ass shit. We'll see what happens when I start that review, but it won't be for a little while. I'm taking a break from this series to update some of my other fanfictions, not to mention devote more energy to my original works. I'm trying my hand once again at reviving a few old ideas, so... I'll get to Turnabout Target when I get to it. Likely sometime next year. In the meantime, enjoy the content I've already provided you with. This series makes up a good fifth of my word count for all fanfictions I've ever written on FF net. Go to AO3, and it's over a fourth. I like numbers and stats. Can't you tell?**

 **Anyway, thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed, don't forget to review, and I'll see you on the far side!**

 **Edit: Upon further consideration, I decided that awarding sins exponentially in the bonus round was excessive, even for this case. Instead, I formatted the bonus round the same way I did it in Turnabout Serenade's review, where the counter just increases the penalty by one each time. Mostly because I don't want to have such an enormous outlier when I calculate things like averages. And I would rather only use one number for a total sin tally.**


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